singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
