You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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