i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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