the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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