Im at strip club and am horny
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
