yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
