I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I know her cup size but not her name....
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