You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
