Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
