you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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