I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize