I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
