Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
