My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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