We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
