Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
