Umm I'm too high to move.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize