Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
