we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
