And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
