I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
