WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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