I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
