Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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