I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
