Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
