I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
