Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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