what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
