i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
