M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
