Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
