rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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