Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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