im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
