i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
