This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
3pm strippers are depressing
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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