she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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