marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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