You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
