Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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