FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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