there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
