Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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