Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
