well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
