I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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