I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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