it was like his penis was on wheels.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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