Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
