Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
