dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
