Your dad touched me again.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
