I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize