Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
