i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
