Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize