So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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