Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
