tell your sister to shave her snatch
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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