Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
