I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize