Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
