ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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