TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
