my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
