he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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