Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
