So drunk its hurt
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
