I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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