Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
