I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
