I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
