did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
