sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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