it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
