You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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